10 Things Only...The Winter Owner Knows
This one goes out to the dedicated horse owners struggling their way through winter one soggy bottom at a time.
By Cala Russell
By Cala Russell
1) the day you decide to keep your horse in because its forecast to be shite will always be the day when the storm comes 24 hours later- which also happens to be the very day that you needed him to stay out because you have an office meeting to get to.
2) the moment you find a feed that your precious hard-to-keep-muzzle-waving-nostril-flaring-scrawny-excuse-for-a-horse will eat is also the very moment the wholesaler starts having supply problems. "Why, yes ofcourse" you can keep popping back in to see if a delivery has arrived. Every day. Just incase. Because the very day you don't drop in will be the day that they get 3 sacks delivered and someone else snaffles them straight up.
3) none of your work colleagues will ever know the pain of trying to remove the ice from frozen field waters with your bare hands at 5 in the morning. That kind of pain makes childbirth feel like shelling peas.
4) those boots you paid an arm and a leg for having been told by some tartan wearing city dweller (who was stood in a bucket at Burghminton Castle Horse Trials) that they were "totes perfect for wearing to the yard and then hosing down for a day in the city" will NEVER be a match for the 10 metre stretch of waterlogged mud from your gate way to where your horse is currently stood waiting to come in. He knows that. You know that. They knew that. But that glass of summer Cava was just irresistible....
5) time saving activities such as carrying 2 bales of hay at once actually take twice as long as taking one bale, twice. And will be especially time consuming as you now wont be able to feel your fingers for atleast 3 hours. Who'd have thunk that bailer twine could leave that kind of dent in your skin?
6) a watched horse never eats up - mostly because they are now thinking that you're watching because you've committed some some kind of medicinal witch craft with their supper. Oh and see #3 - that bulk purchase of feed you got ? He's suddenly gone right off it...
7) horse shoes only ever come off the morning before you're due to load up for an event that you have paid a months wages upfront for. And they NEVER come off when the event you are heading to has an on-site farrier.
8) your vet is more likely to answer the phone to you on a Sunday than at any other time of the week - not least because he has saved your number into his phone as "Xmas party fund"
9) do not attempt to sweep snow from your yard after the hours of darkness. It might look smart as you switch of the yard lights and head for bed but unless you have aspirations to join a Curling squad, you're going to regret it come the morning. Oh and The Bolero looks crap in wellies... trust me.
10) Competing in the Winter almost always involves atleast one dose of hypothermia. Mostly caused by trying to guess what time your class will start. Ye Olde Schedule entry of "Class will not start before 1pm" can mean anything from "prepare to panic, you're the only entry and we will be calling your name at 1.01pm and moving to the next class at 1.02pm" to "ah yes but we didn't say WHICH 1pm....".